Love can blind us easily when we’re in a relationship, especially with overlooking flaws of our spouse/partner. It’s easy to ignore toxic relationship problems or be too comfortable to want to get out of the relationship.
Regardless, we have two options in an unhealthy marriage: work on repairing it, or work towards divorce. To consider which route to take, it’s important to ask yourself the following questions, according to Weinberger Law Group.
Have you taken responsibility for your part in the problem?
It’s easy to deflect our problems onto others, but instead: look inwardly at yourself and reflect. Ask yourself what could be changed and how you could improve your overall marriage.
Let’s say that you follow through with this. You’ll look at your well-being, your spouse’s unresolved potential mental health issues, meeting your spouses needs, and going to therapy.
If you take full responsibility for your half of the problem and your marriage hasn’t improved, this could be a sign for divorce.
Do you have an attachment problem?
I’m sure you’ve seen or at least heard of people being clingy or pushing away from you. Both of these actions, while opposite, stem from those anxiously attached. These individuals feel that they can’t count on their partners, which results in this behavior.
Either way, anxious attachment can damage a relationship. Other individuals have other attachment style problems. The best thing to do, for saving the marriage, is to get therapy to help with changing behaviors. If this doesn’t help, it could be a sign for divorce.
Have you done your own divorce homework?
Divorce is just a word. It takes research to fully understand certain realities that go with obtaining divorce. A divorce is a life changing and significant decision that should require thorough research for understanding the situation and the concepts. Think you have a grasp already?
Here’s a small test – you should be able to answer questions with information such as: how long the divorce timeline is, how the divorce will affect you financially, and different custody options. You should also understand the difference between mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigation. Only after knowing what the divorce process entails will you know what path to take and when, if at all, to move forward.
How might divorce affect your kids?
Divorce affects kids in different ways than the parents and adults involved. As a general rule, conflict hurts kids more than the divorce itself. This is due to parents’ arguments and other conflicting issues.
Children may grow up worse off with conflicting parents that stay married, as opposed to children with parents that divorce on a more friendly and civil basis.
We aren’t trying to encourage any divorce, but it’s important to keep your kids at the forefront of any marriage/divorce decision that you make with your spouse.
And That’s It…
We hope that these four questions help. Our focus is to give you guidance in any relationship decision you make. If you so should need any divorce help, we recommend hiring an experienced divorce law attorney.
At Southern Oaks, Lafayette family law attorney Taylor Fontenot believes his role is to protect your rights and interests while simultaneously working with everyone involved in order to minimize collateral damage and resolve disputes timely and efficiently. Call Taylor today.